So as we approach the up-and-coming Thanksgiving holiday, I stumbled upon a blog post by a recent divorcee giving 20 marriage tips that made me reflect more on my own relationships. Then this feeling got me thinking that about relationships in general,how people should expand their focus apart from being only on what you should be thankful for. But if you’re struggling with one of the most important relationships in your life , maybe taking the chance to re-focus on why you started the relationship in the first place can help you find what you’re thankful for. As you can tell, I thought this post to be very insightful and touching; I hope you feel the same way.
Here is one of my favorite tips from the post:
“7) NEVER BLAME your wife If YOU get frustrated or angry at her, it is only because it is triggering something inside of YOU. They are YOUR emotions, and your responsibility. When you feel those feelings take time to get present and to look within and understand what it is inside of YOU that is asking to be healed. You were attracted to this woman because she was the person best suited to trigger all of your childhood wounds in the most painful way so that you could heal them… when you heal yourself, you will no longer be triggered by her, and you will wonder why you ever were.
Allow your woman to JUST BE. When she’s sad or upset, it’s not your job to fix it, it’s your job to HOLD HER and let her know it’s ok. Let her know that you hear her, and that she’s important and that you are that pillar on which she can always lean. The feminine spirit is about change and emotion and like a storm her emotions will roll in and out, and as you remain strong and unjudging she will trust you and open her soul to you… DON’T RUN-AWAY WHEN SHE’S UPSET. Stand present and strong and let her know you aren’t going anywhere. Listen to what she is really saying behind the words and emotion.”
I think this tip is the most universal towards life in general because it’s so dang obvious! In my opinion you alone are in charge of your own emotions and how you choose to express them. This is for friends,family,co-workers, whatever…I think also if you really take charge of how you let your emotions come through towards others you can be a calmer person in general; and maybe even a happier person. Especially with the birth of our son, I find that this Thanksgiving it is more important than ever for me to really appreciate and be thankful that I was not only able to be given such a great gift, but to be surrounded by my family on a holiday and every other day if I wanted to be.
Thank you for taking the time to read the post if you get around to it; giving people the gift of humbling yourself to centering your emotion and not allowing anger to over come is a great thing to be thankful for in and of itself. If I don’t manage to get another entry here before the holiday, I hope your day was awesome and fulfilling in both family memories and full bellies! 🙂